Children,  Motherhood

Your Success as a Mom is not Always Determined by Your Child’s Behavior

Motherhood is not like other jobs. In a typical job, things like a salary, raises, and promotions will indicate to the employee that they are doing a good job in their work. But moms don’t get paid, and they don’t really even have a supervisor. There is no tangible evidence to be seen from our work.

As a mom, I tend to get discouraged in my parenting and homemaking when things aren’t going well. There have been days when my baby has been crying for most of the day and I don’t really know what to do. Because she’s not doing well, I feel like I am failing in my role as a mom. But sometimes you can’t control your kid’s behavior. Children will always have bad days, misbehave, cry, and get hurt – just like adults do. When they do have these bad days, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad mom, it just means you’re not in control of everything.

And unfortunately, even though your children may generally be well-behaved, it seems like one day of misbehavior discounts all the other days of good behavior. Even though they generally are happy, if they have one day of sadness then you’re not doing a perfect job as their mom. Hmm. That’s correct, you’re not doing a perfect job – none of us are.

It’s hard to see results in your children because they are always a work in progress, and most of the results aren’t physical – they’re unseen. They might be displayed in their love for you, their growing interest in the Bible, their kindness to others – but rarely will you be able to point at one thing in their life and say – “See, this makes me a good mom” – not like you can with an award at work or grades at school.

In addition to this, all of your physical tasks as a mother always have to be done over and over again – laundry, dishes, cleaning. They are never done, never can be fully checked off. Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of tasks to do and people to care for that you lose sight of the end goal. Which is what? What is your end goal as a mother?

You have to answer that for yourself, because I think it is different for everyone. However, I do want to encourage you in what you are doing – even though it may seem monotonous at times, it will have lasting benefits. Pastor Andy Stanley says regarding mothers, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” Though it may not seem like it some days, raising your children in the fear and knowledge of the Lord is one of the most profitable things you can do with your life!

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